Houston's has a burger: that doesn't suck

The Houston's burger can be seen here not sucking.

So I found myself poking around the internet, looking for places that serve a good burger (go figure), and an oddity kept popping up here and there (most significantly on A Hamburger Today):  people have been claiming that Houston's, a chain restaurant, has a good burger.   

Let me make something clear:  I don't think people have very good taste, generally speaking.  So normally, I'd just ignore these claims.  But for some reason I thought they might be onto something.  And A Hamburger Today people seem to put a lot of thought into this stuff.  So, off we went to Houston's in Riverside Square mall, in Hackensack, NJ.  After my experience with Applebee's "Triple Prime Burger", I wasn't expecting much.  Of this you are assured.

It was a Tuesday night or something like that, and we figured the place would be empty.  I mean, who goes to a mall on a Tuesday night and then to a chain restaurant (which isn't exactly cheap) to eat on a Tuesday night.  In a mall.  On a Tuesday.  Well the answer to that question was, apparently, "more people than you'd expect."

The place was jumpin'.  I dashed through the crowded bar area to the hostess stand to check on the wait.  She said "Hi how are you?".  I said "I'm just trying to figure out why all of these people are waiting to eat here."  I suppose that came out wrong, but she was gracious and explained that this was no crowd at all.  This place, apparently, does a business. 

We wanted to eat at the bar, actually, because bar dining is almost always preferable.  But there were no seats...except this odd table down at the end.  Described as "self-seat waitress service."  That sounded a lot better than the alternative of waiting for a table.

I have a lot of things to say about Houston's, so I'll bullet them (with no bullets) to save time.  Mine and yours.

Very impressive stemware for a chain.

The red wines are served at about 62 degrees.  You could have knocked me over with a feather.  I asked the waitress if they store their red wines somewhere besides on top of a hot bar, and she told me that they have 2 wine coolers behind the bar:  one for whites and one for reds.   Local restaurants:  take note, because with these types of advantages, you're going to start looking foolish when compared to chains.

The bartender/server was quite friendly and normal.

They have one or two wines from Long Island.  That's a good thing.

The place is quite attractive and clean.

The martini got good marks.

The burger, is really quite decent.  I mean, it's not great.  It's not Copeland.  It's not Blue Smoke.  It's not a steakhouse burger.  It's just a quite decent restaurant burger.  And it's a wee bit too thin for my taste.

They serve shredded lettuce and maybe cabbage or something like that on the burger.  That's silly.

It's served with chunks (rather than slices) of onion and pickles.

Cross section of the burger with pickles, continuing to not suck.

You will likely be told "we put mustard and mayo on our burgers" to which you might choose to respond, as did I, with "not on my burger you don't."

The tomato wasn't as horrible as I expected.

Tomato:  not as horrible as expected

They give you hot wet towels when you're done eating (at least they did for us).  It's just like flying first class.  But you're in a mall.  And the drinks aren't free.

Towels:  hot.  Additionally, wet

I'd be hard-pressed to name 3 other places within a 10 mile radius of Hackensack that serve a better burger.  That says something about Houston's.  Or maybe it says something about the local competition.

Houstons : Riverside Square Mall (and a mall near you)

Comments

[rich]

I think that Houston's is one of the most well-run chain restaurants in the industry. The menu may be unexciting but the consistency in the quality of food and service is outstanding.

[tommyeats]

The menu is so limited that it's surprising...for a chain. it reads like a local mom-and-pop.

they don't have buffalo wings. that's a shame, as i bet they would do them well.

i understand they make stuff "from scratch" every day. Subway bakes their own bread, but that doesn't make it good. regardless, if they do make stuff from scratch, you're probably looking at a more natural and unadultered product. and i'm all for that.

and the place is nicer than most peoples' houses.

[ngatti]

It's the "Stepford Wife" of chain restaurants.

They do a lot of things right. Their training is arguably the best in the industry.

They are painfully dogmatic re menu. If you're off on Monday, you get tired of hearing the same soup and fish selection week in and week out(is it still Tortilla Soup?).

The pricing structure of that menu sometimes seems more rooted in yield analysis than actual food costs. And speaking of menus; that menu has been in place with nothing but an occasional "add-drop", for years. If you live in the nabe (and I do), then it gets awfully tired, awfully fast.

By limiting the menu Houston's is able to buy into the Mickey D model. Do a few things and do them well. People who go often (and I was a weekly or more customer) lose their enchantment right around the time they have the menu memorized. This limiting effect of the menu makes all sorts of training issues disappear. However, it doesn't make for any sort of sustainable dining excitement.

They're better than the other two chains on that floor--Cheesecake and McCormick & Schmick--but that's damning with faint praise.

Within Ten Miles? Porterhouse and Hennesy's come to mind. I like the burger at Tommy Fox's too.

Oh, lest I sound too negative; The coffee (Kobrick's Dark velvet) is one of the finest cups around and Houston's training program means that they are able to serve it properly. Every pot is thrown out after twenty minutes.

[tommyeats]

never hoiyd of Tommy Fox's. but now i have. and i'm there.

i wasn't couting the porterhouse as i figured that's more than 10 miles. hennesy's is about 10.2 miles if driving, so that's right out as well.

;-p

[Rail Paul]

Is this the place run by the semi-famous star of Crossing Jordan? It received a lot of good press maybe two years ago.

Hennessy's Tavern
201-768-7707 • 191 Paris Ave, Northvale,NJ 07647

[ngatti]

If you go to "Tommy Fox's" be sure to sit at the bar. I think you'll like it.

[ngatti]

That's the place, paul. I think I may have a writeup about it on MFs.

[lutece]

I think Houston's is outstanding for a chain restaurant. I have been to all the expensive restaurants in the world (haha) and some do not have as good food as Houstons. Also, this place is the only one that serves fresh brewed camomile tea, and other kinds too! That impresses me. I didn't even get that at Union Square Cafe!
As a non meat eater, and a lover of great , fresh fish that I will seek out from the best local fish mongers I can find, I have to say the fish I get at Houstons is always, fresh and superior to most any restaurant I've been to. Their salads are the best around, their vegetables are always interesting and delicious, without a lot of grease, lard, just herbs, citrus and maybe a bit of butter. They are always nice enough to eliminate that too, if thats what you want.
Their cous cous is also fantastic.
All in all, they are not cheap, but everything I've gotten there has been superb, and I wish there was one closer to me in Bergen county!!

[jcs]

I think a lot of the Houston's burger press started with the GQ article on the country's 20 or so best burgers. It's important to note that it listed the *california burger*, not just the regular burger, and for good reason. It's worth trying before you write the place off. If I recall correctly, the cabbage is suppposed to keep the bottom bun dry, or at least give it some anti-sogginess crunch. I'm not sure the cabbage has much to do it with it, but it really is a great burger.

[Jenn]

Houston's is definitely on my top 5 most favorite restuarants. Maybe even top 2 or 3. I've personally never ordered a burger but other people in my party usually do and they are pretty damn good. If you ever go back, PLEASE try their spinach did... phenominal. As well as their French Dip (minus the mayo), my all time favorite. The ribs are pretty fantastic too. :)

[rm]

Houston's, for a chain, has some of the best ribs I've ever had. This is comparing them to places I've been in Savannah, Atlanta, Memphis and Houston TX. They are called knife and fork ribs and they fall off the bones. They are so consistent that in the 8 or so years I've been going there they are still as good as the first time. The rest of their food is also very good. I have never experienced a 'bad' night which I can't say for many other chains where their cooks might change weekly.
Highly recommended to try the ribs if you don't eat anything else there.
I also like their hot fudge sundays, it comes with the hot fudge (not as thick as most places) in a separate dish and you can pour it over the ice cream or dip your spoon in it since it stays hot longer this way.

[john]

Houston's is the best. If you want good, consistent and well prepared food from steak to fish to burgers.....they got it. Also ask for the not on the menu Chicken Tenders they are incredible.......if you are a Buffalo Wing person, then Houston's is way above your taste level and you need to stick with Friday's. Houston's has a plan....they have a good menu but not overwhelming or aggressive...their goal is good consistent food...excellent service...and alot of repeat business...by the way I liked chopped lettuce and onions....it is a top 3 in anybody's ratings who have eating at one.

[chefdave]

"their goal is good consistent food...excellent service...and alot of repeat business.."

Noble goals, to be sure....and ones that more restaurants could stand to focus on.