Red Robin: Why?

Here's a question for you:

What's the worse thing you can say on your way to lunch at Montclair's Little Saigon, where you're planning on having a big ol' hot bowl of pho and some of their wacky "egg rolls," wrapped in lettuce and dipped in nuoc cham.  The answer is, of course, "Hey, let's try Red Robin for the hell of it."

I clearly have to remind myself more often that the people on roadfood.com and chowhound.com and citysearch.com, and any other open forum where anyone can post anything, for the most part, don't know what they're talking about.  "Red Robin has a really good burger" I read somewhere.  Why did I believe that for even one second?  I suppose I really didn't.  But I was curious.  Once a seed gets planted in my head there's really no getting it out until it germinates.  I'm obsessive and compulsive.  Two wonderful traits.  So yeah, I had no choice but to stop at Clifton's Red Robin.

Screaming kids.  Teenagers.  Cheerleaders.  All of them seemed to be enjoying themselves.  When I'm around any of those things, I tend to get annoyed.  So we sat at the bar, where we were slightly less annoyed.

There's no point in belaboring this.  The nachos were deemed "ok, actually".  Some chili on top of crunchy tortilla.  Not bad in reality.  Bar food.  Football-watching food.  The lettuce in the middle?  Just a waste of perfectly good food.  I suppose people think this makes the dish look fancy.

We could have used more sour cream and less "guacamole".  I assume that's what the green stuff was.  It bore no resemblance to any avocado that I've ever seen.   [rant]Why do restaurants serve this stuff?  It's horrible.  Absolutely horrible.  Chemically tasting.  Fake tasting.  Nothing like the real thing.  It's a waste of food.  It's a waste of energy to grow those avocados, ship them, and process them, and then ship the final product.  I'm offended that someone turns food into this stuff.  It's just absolutely 100% pointless.  Except that some people actually enjoy it.  Have they ever had an avocado or freshly made guac, I have to wonder?[/rant]

So this burger comes out.  It's pictured below.  I swear, there's a burger in there.  It's under the big, sweet, white-bread-as-middle-America bun.  And the unripe tomato.  And the wad of unmelted cheddar.   Right there.  Go ahead.  Have a closer look.   Click on it.  Go ahead.  Do it.

Aw heck, here's a better picture of it.  Sorry for the teeth marks, but there is really no other way of showing you.

Needless to say, there's a bit too much bun for this burger.  When I say "a bit too much bun", I mean, "you have to be kidding me with all of this freakin bun." 

The patty itself was unseasoned to my palate, and over-processed.  This, I'm relatively certain, is not freshly ground beef.  It was pretty bad.  I was, however, impressed that it actually came out essentially medium rare, as ordered.  I was warned that it was going to be medium.  Not sure if the kitchen was acting on my request, or this is how it's served to everyone.

There is certainly nothing "gourmet" about this burger, contrary to what Red Robin's moto line would have you think.  "Gourmet my ass", I would say.

The fries are "bottomless" at Red Robin.  I've never heard of such a thing.  Now don't get me wrong, I don't think it's Red Robin's responsibility to make sure people don't get fat and unhealthy, but for fuck's sake, why promote something like free, unlimited fries?  Do people actually get their burger and their fries, and say to the waitress, "Boy, I could really use another order of those fries."  *sigh*

One theory is that this enables them to give you relatively few fries, thus wasting less food, while keeping gluttons from complaining.  People who want more will ask, and those who really don't need more than 12 steak fries will feel sated.  That's a nice theory.  I think I'll go with it.

Oh, and they were just OK. Heavily seasoned with salt, which isn't a horrible thing.

The bright side?  2.50 pints of Sam Adams Winter Ale.  That's quite a good deal I'd say.

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Red Robin can be found in hotels and malls all across this great food-loving nation of ours, and locally in Clifton on Route 3.

tommy:eats can be found in and around NJ, usually taking one for the team, as he did today.  you're welcome.

Comments

[jerseypaulie]

I couldn't agrre more with your comments about the red robin, Ditto the review of sleezeburger in
paradise. I think we all love a great hamburger and sometimes we have go to places we wouldn't ordinarily frequent to get the "ball of meat" fix. In that vein, consider Tierney's Tavern on Valley Road in Montclair. Being accustomed to fine dining establishments it was a somewhat strange feeling entering the place for the first time, but I was surprised to see many well dressed business people pouring in at lunch time. Almost eberyone has a burger. Toasted appropriately sized roll, freshly ground nicely seasoned beef, done to your liking. They are not a huge size, but you can always have 2. The onion rings are also a hit, which are made on the premises. People were telling me about this place for months before I tried it. Now I can't go to Montclair without stopping for a burger and one of the many draft beers.

[tommy:eats]

the only thing that keeps me from eating at Tiereny's is that i've actually *been* to Teireny's. Usually to drink beer and shoot pool or listen to bad music.

The downstairs bar has smelled a bit too much like urine for me to consider a meal there. Granted, it was late on a night when the place was filled with a college and post-college crowd, but the fact remains that the place doesn't scream "clean". It screams "clean me!"

i have heard, however, that the burger is pretty good.

[Double0]

This has nothing to do with Red Robin (I've never been) just another chain, Fudruckers
It's worth a try, not the one on Rt4 (that place really sucks) but the one on Rt23 South.Good bun to meat ratio(1/2lb), you can get it cooked the way you want it, prepared plain with all condiments on the side and it really tastes like beef. One thing that I've noticed about Fudruckers is that they vary inquality at different locations. I think that its franchised not company owned.

[dbroc]

Have you been to a 5 Guys? Burgers so good I might have to fire up the blackeyed pig again just to rave about them.

My F-I-L has a good friend with a big job at Red Robin. I will pass your comments along to the powers that be. You might even get feedback.

[tommy:eats]

dbroc, i have indeed been to 5 guys. i wasn't moved enough to even blog about it, but i had planned to, what with the highly stylized photos i took.

5 guys blows Red Robin away. there's simply no comparison. they use freshly ground beef, which will make it superior to just about any other burger chain. unfortunately for 5 guys, i went there when i was craving The Shake Shack. now, i know the shake shack evokes a variety of emotions, including "it sucks", but i rather enjoy that style of burger. 5 guys didn't really match my experiences at the shake shack.

as far as your friend and Red Robin, i'm not sure any of my complaints are based on anything Red Robin did wrong on this visit. I think they are more indicative of the fact that i just don't like Red Robin. everyone else seemed to love it, and judging by the amount of people there on a sunday afternoon, i don't think Red Robin is going to be changing their approach any time soon. nor should they.

Fire up The Pig!!

[fredknows]

I don"t agree with your comments and general dislike of Red Robin.

I like the place, but no I don't eat cows more many years. Try one of the many flavors of chicken burgers and the chicken tortilla soup.

Nobody services a tastier chicken burger than Red Robin. Oh!, and skip those unhealthy fries.