tommy:eats

Zinburger: coming to Clifton, NJ?

t:e field reporter jimmy:rocks contacted the t:e organization today to tip us off on a "coming soon" situation in Clifton over by Stew Leonard's ("The Promenade Shops at Clifton", as it's called).  Apparently a Zinburger is opening there.  It seems to be from Arizona.  A far-away land.

Zinburger is a burger and wine bar concept type of deal, or at least that's what I gather from their website.  Here's the menu (click).

I like burgers.  I like wine.  So I like the possibility of yet another burger joint opening.  

If you have patience, you can read through what various Arizona yelpers are yelping.  I have no patience, so let me know if anyone has anything interesting to say. 

Whether any of this is true or valid remains to be seen.  Maybe it's "Zin Burger", different than "Zinburger".  But I'm no reporter, so I'll know when you do.

Update:  t:e field reporter jimmy:rocks has confirmed with the Fox restaurant group that it is indeed Zinburger.  

Best of Bergen Restaurants: 2010

201 Magazine recently published their yearly readers poll of the Best of Bergen 2010, online here (click).  It doesn't seem to be online yet, but I'll update this post once it is.

Since I haven't done a "best of" in a while, I figured I'd list their winners, and then provide the real (my) answers. 

Cici's Pizza Buffet: commercial

I'm slack-jawed.  I just saw something on TV, and had to rewind it.  Twice.  To try to figure out why I wasn't getting the joke.  I came to find out that it wasn't a joke at all.   This is really a commercial for Cici's Pizza, a chain which specializes in a spongy, rubbery, doughy product, which I can only assume is supposed to be reminiscent of pizza.

They've managed to make unappetizing food seem even more unappealing than it already is.  This, is a masterpiece.

Assuming you actually want to eat something notable in New Jersey, check out New Jersey Monthly's recent article on pizza.  You can find it here (click).

Sonic Drive-in: Burgers in New Jersey

It was the early '90s, and I was living and working in Columbia, South Carolina.  Being right out of college, I was eager to devour the world.  At that point, finances would dictate that I would be devouring the world one fast food meal at a time for the most part, but that was OK.  Exploring fast food is still a way of exploring a culture (if you don't believe me, sit in a fast food place for a day...you'll get some insight into the bowels of a culture alright).  And there was a world of fast food joints in Columbia that I had not ever seen in my part of the New Jersey.  

I recall, fondly, my first visits to Popeyes and Bojangles' Chicken.  My first visit to Sonic, however, I do not recall, although I'm pretty sure I went.

My second trip to Sonic, this time in North Jersey, 17 years later, as an older, wealthier, much fatter man, was about as memorable.

Wendy's: "Center cut" chicken breast

Americans, by and large, small and large, enjoy bland meat and are turned off by any flesh, muscle or organ that resembles something that might have actually come from an animal.  So it's no surprise to see "all white meat chicken" promoted in everything from soup to fajitas, and found on every "Italian" (actually, "Italian-American"...there's very little that is "Italian" about these places) menu in New Jersey, which generally offer 10 different flavors of chicken breast, none of which seem very Italian.

But Wendy's is taking this one step further.

Morton's Steakhouse: and their blog and silly claim

Morton's Steakhouse now has a "blog".  The blog is called "The Best Steak Anywhere", which is their (new?) registered trademark.

Really?  The best steak anywhere?  It kinda makes you wonder if they've ever been to Peter Luger, or Florence.  

I suppose they are guided by the same principle that so many are:  if you say it enough, well then it just has to be true.  They lie.  It's not.  How am I so sure?  

Burger King: ooo, ooo, that smell

Burger King is selling a bottled scent that is reminiscent of the Whopper.  Mmmm, Whopper.  Tasty.

I'm guessing it's more reminiscent of the complete lack of self-respect that would drive someone to go to Burger King in the first place.  Mmmm, complete lack of self-respect.  Sexy.

Brilliant marketing though, I'll give them that.

Disclosure:  I do go to BK on too many rare occasions, although I bathe and scrub myself all OCD-like afterward to, you know, clean off the self-loathing . Make mine a double, with cheese. 

Five Guys Burgers: = round Wendy's?

Five Guys burger:  yucky lettuce

Another joint where the hype outweighs the food.

There's no doubt that this is the type of burger I should like:  fresh ground beef (although, I'm not sure if it's freshly ground), that whole roadside stand style of burger that I love (messy, wet, etc).  Hell my first hopes that were it would be a more accessible Shake Shack burger (although I need to get back to Shake Shack to make sure that I actually like their burger...I'm sure I do, as Danny Meyer is no slouch).  And I do like it, but come on, it's not all that exceptional.

Rosa Mexicano: Hackensack, initial impressions

We took a walk by the chain restaurant trifecta that recently opened at the Riverside Square mall. 

There's a Maggioni's or something like that, whose awning claims "PRIME STEAKS."  Plural, as far as I can tell.  I took a look at their menu, and only one steak is "prime", and it's not even suggesting that it's USDA Prime (it also claims "aged", which I assume means that it was sitting in a Cryovac wrapper for a while.  Yay).  I guess what they meant by "PRIME STEAKS" is that they have several of those steaks. 

There's also PF Chang's.  I couldn't get past those enormous concrete horses.  I'm sure I'm missing some sort of cultural significance, once again illustrating the depth and breadth of my ignorance. Seriously, they're kidding, right?...

...and then there's Rosa Mexicano.

Beef: found

I don't normally regurgitate news here, because that's boring.   But I'm really impressed with this feat:

This man has found the beef.  Although, I'm not sure where he put it. 

That's incredible.  Where's the video?  In this age of youtube no one captured this for all the world?

Meanwhile, the medical experts over on Roadfood.com are chiming in.  *sigh*

In-N-Out Burger: Eh, I'm not convinced

Here on the east coast, we don't have In-N-Out burger.  So we discuss it on food blogs and Chowhound poetically, fantasizing, lusting,... remembering.  I'm guilty of the same.  I had my first (and until recently, only) In-N-Out experience about 4 years ago in Las Vegas.  You know what Las Vegas is.  I don't have to link to Wikipedia.

<remembering fondly>Twas a hung-over afternoon in Vegas, and I knew there was only one thing to do:  call a taxi and have the driver bring me to In-N-Out burger.  About an hour and 50 dollars later, I devoured a double in my hotel room, thinking it was pretty gosh darned good.</remembering fondly>

Fast forward a few years and I remember it as one of the best burgers in my life.  Complaining that we don't have one around here. 

Bonefish Grill: Paramus, NJ

File under:  I should have known better.

Essentially on a dare, we headed to Bonefish Grill in Paramus.  "How bad could it be?", was the rationale.   Well let me tell ya...

White Castle fries: File under: WTF?

I've been to a few fast food joints over the years.  Hell, over the month.  And I always get a "large" combo meal, because I like a lot of soda.   You do get a lot of fries with the large size, but it's really all about the extra soda for me.  In fact, if you could super-size the diet Coke, and keep the fries small, well that there would be a great option. 

However, even with all of this experience, and all of the thought I have given this, I was absolutely floored, nay, disgusted, when I pulled the large fries out of the White Castle bag the other day.

Study: Most kids' fast-food meals have too many calories

Study: Most kids' fast-food meals have too many calories

In related news:  no shit, Sherlock.

<WTF?>  Who pays for this stuff?  Shouldn't they be paying for studies on how to get seeds and flavor back into watermelon instead of the number of permutations possible with 7 sandwiches, 5 drinks and french fries?  Was this study run by a high school student looking for extra credit?</WTF?>

Recent: Jersey Burgers

For the love of Pete where the hell have I been?  Weeks since the last post.  Months before that.  You're all worried sick I know.  Well I've been eating burgers.  Mostly mediocre, some downright horrible, but a couple of excellent burgers as well.  And here ya go:

First, one from home.  Good.  Loose patty.  Freshly ground beef. Exceptional bacon.  Good burger to bun ratio.  Exceptional cheese.  So what's so hard about that?

Free Dunkin Donuts coffee!!!!!

Hey guess were I was yesterday between 10 am and 10 pm at participating locations!!??!?!

White Castle doubles: 200% the burger, 150% the bread

The other day I realized, after eating White Castles doubles for about 20 years, that the double isn't just double meat.  They also put an extra piece of bread in there.  Like a club sandwich.  Has that extra piece of soggy bread always been in there?  That's freaky, because I've never, ever noticed, after countless White Castle doubles.   You'd think I was drunk or something all of those times I ordered those White Castle Doubles not to notice.

Inventor of Egg McMuffin dies: Herb Peterson

[I could google and steal someone's picture, but you'll have to use your imagination instead]

I just read that the inventor of the Egg McMuffin, Herb Peterson, died on Tuesday.  I don't normally regirgitate news stories because, well, that's what news outlets and newspapers do quite well already, but I think he did some very very good work, and I think he deserves a mention.  Read on McCNN here (click).

I'm not sure if Herb had a hand in the Sausage McMuffin with Egg though.  One would think he did.  At the very least he created the foundation.  Some jerk probably came around afterwards and said "Hey, let's put some sausage on Herb's sandwich and take all the credit!"  Pricks.  That SMwE is a level up from the regular Egg McMuffin, and it's exactly what you need if you've tipped a few too many the night before or are getting a scratchy throat from a cold (it's like health food or something).  It takes a perfectly acceptable sandwich, and adds a bunch more fat and salt.  Excellent.

So, as I sit here eating a Talyor Ham egg and cheese on a roll (throat's a little scratchy this morning thank you), I think that I should stop at McDonald's tomorrow, and try the regular ol' Egg McMuffin.  Maybe I'll get a SMwE too, just in case.

Dunkin Donuts: File under: WTF?

Dunkin Donuts has the order-by-number approach, so popular at fast food restaurants.  I can't help but think the whole breakfast at Dunkin Donuts thing is just a little excessive.

Red Robin: Why?

Here's a question for you:

What's the worse thing you can say on your way to lunch at Montclair's Little Saigon, where you're planning on having a big ol' hot bowl of pho and some of their wacky "egg rolls," wrapped in lettuce and dipped in nuoc cham.  The answer is, of course, "Hey, let's try Red Robin for the hell of it."

I clearly have to remind myself more often that the people on roadfood.com and chowhound.com and citysearch.com, and any other open forum where anyone can post anything, for the most part, don't know what they're talking about.  "Red Robin has a really good burger" I read somewhere.  Why did I believe that for even one second?  I suppose I really didn't.  But I was curious.  Once a seed gets planted in my head there's really no getting it out until it germinates.  I'm obsessive and compulsive.  Two wonderful traits.  So yeah, I had no choice but to stop at Clifton's Red Robin.

Cheeseburger in Paradise: Wayne, NJ (and elsewhere)

I’ve been curious about this chain ever since I noticed a branch out in Wayne, NJ, on or near Route 46. On at least two occasions over the summer I tried going for lunch and found them closed (they’re not open for lunch M-Th). Luckily, Wendy’s up the street was serving paradise all day long on those days.

I finally got over there on a Friday and checked out this restaurant, named after the very famous Jimmy Buffet song. As you might imagine, expectations were not set very high, and as such were essentially met, leaving me confused that I’m not disgusted by the place, yet I don’t think it’s all that good and would never go back.

Fleming's Steakhouse: lots of wine, but no clue

Fleming's Steakhouse is a chain that serves USDA Prime wet-aged beef.  They offer over 100 wines-by-the-glass, and that's a good thing.

My second visit left a bad taste in my mouth.  Specifically the taste of TCA and poor customer service.

Houston's has a burger: that doesn't suck

The Houston's burger can be seen here not sucking.

So I found myself poking around the internet, looking for places that serve a good burger (go figure), and an oddity kept popping up here and there (most significantly on A Hamburger Today):  people have been claiming that Houston's, a chain restaurant, has a good burger.   

Let me make something clear:  I don't think people have very good taste, generally speaking.  So normally, I'd just ignore these claims.  But for some reason I thought they might be onto something.  And A Hamburger Today people seem to put a lot of thought into this stuff.  So, off we went to Houston's in Riverside Square mall, in Hackensack, NJ.  After my experience with Applebee's "Triple Prime Burger", I wasn't expecting much.  Of this you are assured.

It's muh birf-day! Where we goin!?!?!?!

For our birthdays, the missus and I generally ask each other the question:  what restaurant would you like to go to that we normally wouldn't go to 'cause it's too far, or too 'spensive, or too whatever.  Today was my birfday, and the question was no different.  The answer, however, sounded a lot like this:  "Ruby effing Tuesday's." 

That's right:  "Ruby effing Tuesday's" (The only place that I put an inappropriate and silly-sounding possessive "s" at the end of...he said, ending a sentence in a preposition.  Not sure why I do that.  Either of those.).  What can I say: that commercial that I saw on Saturday afternoon, all talkin' about that "Triple Prime Burger" (scroll down...atta boy), really got me going.  I realized that I needed to try it.  It was really that simple.  And why not waste a Monday night meal on it, especially since I had a great lunch at Otto with Dbroc from blackeyedpig, and, given that fact, could have basically had my own ear wax and a diet Pepsi for dinner and still gone to bed pretty satisfied.

Legal Sea Foods is a chain, it's in a mall: and it does not suck

Say all you want about chain restaurants, but you can have a pretty damned good meal at Legal Sea Foods (aka, Legal Seafood, LS).

Let’s face it, the term “chain” is really meaningless.  Of course there are the McDonald’s and Wendy’s of the world, and those are certainly “chains,” but there also chains like Smith & Wollensky’s, Palm Steakhouse, and Legal Sea foods.  And, considering that menus at Legal Sea Foods’ various outposts vary, just as the menus at  Per Se and The French Laundry can be similar, but different, perhaps it’s reasonable to say that there are chains from Thomas Keller or even Ducasse? 

OK, so I might be stretching the definition of “chain.”  But, it’s a pointless pejorative that people use when they probably really want to say “fast food.”  Actually, what they really want to say is “restaurants I don’t like (and that i've never tried).”  And quite frankly, most people don’t have very good taste so I don’t listen to what they say anyway.

Back to Legal Sea foods for a moment though.