Filed under: WTF?

Cici's Pizza Buffet: commercial

I'm slack-jawed.  I just saw something on TV, and had to rewind it.  Twice.  To try to figure out why I wasn't getting the joke.  I came to find out that it wasn't a joke at all.   This is really a commercial for Cici's Pizza, a chain which specializes in a spongy, rubbery, doughy product, which I can only assume is supposed to be reminiscent of pizza.

They've managed to make unappetizing food seem even more unappealing than it already is.  This, is a masterpiece.

Assuming you actually want to eat something notable in New Jersey, check out New Jersey Monthly's recent article on pizza.  You can find it here (click).


Cablevision drops the Food Network

Update:  01/21/2010:  Phew.  It's back on:  click

Late in the day yesterday we noticed a ticker running across the bottom of a Food Network program.  We ignored it as we usually do.  Those tickers don't usually have info that I don't already have (a storm is coming?  really?).  But this piece of info was a surprise:  Cablevision would be dropping The Food Network at midnight.

Welp, so much for a Triple D marathon on a lazy New Year's day.

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Restaurant: websites and commericals

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Restaurant websites are pretty piss-poor around these parts in New Jersey. Trust me when I say that I don't even want to go down this road, because it this subject could end up dominating this blog, and giving me a full-time writing job that I'm not prepared to take on.

Unnecessary flash pages (which preclude the use of an iPhone and other mobile devices), ridiculous music, hard-to-find basic information (address, phone, and hours), typos, and just all-around amateurish design, are the norm, rather than the exception.  

I guess you just have to give a restaurant credit for making just a wee bit of effort.

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Wendy's: "Center cut" chicken breast

Americans, by and large, small and large, enjoy bland meat and are turned off by any flesh, muscle or organ that resembles something that might have actually come from an animal.  So it's no surprise to see "all white meat chicken" promoted in everything from soup to fajitas, and found on every "Italian" (actually, "Italian-American"...there's very little that is "Italian" about these places) menu in New Jersey, which generally offer 10 different flavors of chicken breast, none of which seem very Italian.

But Wendy's is taking this one step further.

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Zen Den Bar and Grill: serving "prime choice" beef

I've complained about it before:  restaurants butchering language, in general ("grille", "pizza's", etc.), and worse than that, butchering language to the point where they are possibly misrepresenting the quality of their beef.  e.g., using words like "prime" to describe their steaks or burgers, steaks and burgers which are most likely not USDA Prime.  "Aged" is a good one, and near meaningless unless prefixed with "dry-" or "wet-", as well.

But Teaneck's Zen Den Bar and Grill ("Grill", thankfully, without the "e" at the end - EDIT:  although in other parts of the website, it does have an "e") puts a whole new twist on the butchering with their: "Prime choice Rib Eye".  

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Do you: subscribe to the Bergen Record?

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I don't, either.  Why is it, then, that every couple of weekends I wake up to a monstrous green-colored bag (green colored, not to be confused with green environmentally conscious), filled with 1 ounce of their newspaper and over 2 pounds of advertisements and circulars?  Surely the Bergen Record knows that I don't subscribe, since, well, I don't, and I've called them several times reminding them of this fact, and they don't seem to deliver their paper to me any other day of the week.  The reason to my mind is simple...

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Smart Lidz: Greatest things, ever

Smart Lidz.  These sound like the greatest things ever.  If every one of the readers of this blog could send me 1 dollar, I'd almost have enough to buy these 10 dollar lids, and then I could provide a full and detailed review. If you're not willing to send me a dollar, I might just go ahead and do it myself. These lids seem amazing.  After the jump, you will see what I mean...

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Burger King: ooo, ooo, that smell

Burger King is selling a bottled scent that is reminiscent of the Whopper.  Mmmm, Whopper.  Tasty.

I'm guessing it's more reminiscent of the complete lack of self-respect that would drive someone to go to Burger King in the first place.  Mmmm, complete lack of self-respect.  Sexy.

Brilliant marketing though, I'll give them that.

Disclosure:  I do go to BK on too many rare occasions, although I bathe and scrub myself all OCD-like afterward to, you know, clean off the self-loathing . Make mine a double, with cheese.