Two, not one, not three, readers, have recently brought the Umami Burger thing to my attention.

While I'm sure it's wonderful, there are two problems with Umami Burger: 

1) it's not 10 minutes from my house
and 3) I don't wait in line for food ('cept BBQ)

The odds of me getting to Umami Burger are slim to none, with none way out in front.

Rather than be left out of the umami craze completely, as I was the Cro-nut and Ramen Burger things, I'll just make one at home, using all of the stuff Umami Burger uses. It will be called the Oooooo-tommy: Burger.  Pronounced as if I touched you just right, and then "tom-me," followed by "bur-ger." Go ahead. Say it out loud. That's right baby.

I'll be using a blend of chuck and short rib (50/50). I'll be making some shiitake mushrooms cooked in butter. I'll be making some caramelized onions. I'll be making and perhaps photographing a parmesan crisp.  And I'll be making some oven roasted tomatoes. I'll be incorporating some Worcestershire in some of this, because that stuff has cuh-ray-zee umami, as you know. I will not be making homemade ketchup, because homemade ketchup, regardless of how much umami, is never preferable.

I'll be placing all of this stuff on a brioche bun, and then I'll be eating it.

If it's fantastic, you'll be informed.

If you never hear from me on this again, it was just OK, or, very possibly, it sucked.

Update: I'm here to tell you it was pretty freakin' fantastic. Click me for more on the Ooooo-tommy:burger.