That's not to say I have a philosphical problem with Burger King, or fast food in general. Everything in moderation. Eat what you like, and don't let anyone put you down for your taste.
That said, I sure as hell didn't like the new "Satisfries."
My first impression: wow, different shapes and everything. It appeared that some regular fries and some Satisfries were mixed together, which is not preferable if you're watching your figure and on a strict Satisfry diet.
My second impression: mmmm, oniony. They tasted like onions. This made total sense, I soon came to understand, as there were also onion rings mixed in with the Satisfries.
Maybe I haven't been paying close enough attention to the commercials, but I'm pretty sure this melange wasn't by design.
On top of this questionable cornucopia, the fries (the Satis and original) were largely soggy and limp, soaked with oil. There were some overcooked crispy bits, which turned out to be, in fact, the most satisfrying.
Are you kidding me, Burger King? You're making it really difficult for me to continue defending you and that magical beast you call the Whopper with cheese. Help me out here.