Balcón del Coño, Ronda, Spain

Hotels aren't normally my thing, and I tend to stay in hotels that are functional, clean, well-situated in the town, and somewhat reasonably priced.  That is to say, I don't put much thought into them, and I don't usually remember much about them.  And I certainly don't stay at B&Bs, mostly because I have no interest in eating breakfast with strangers (and they don't want to eat breakfast with me...don't catch me before 11 am because I'm more of a bear than usual).

Enfrente Arte Hotel may have changed that forever.

Checking into this small, funky, 14 room hotel, you'll find yourself standing at the front of a car hood. The car, you see, is in the lobby. Or at least the front of the car is in the lobby. If your room isn't ready, take a step into the bar, where you can help yourself to an espresso, beer on tap, or a glass (or bottle) of wine. It's all included in the very reasonable price, and it's all there 24-7 for your entertainment.

Explore the hotel grounds a bit a more, and you'll come across plenty of interesting artifacts, many of which are related to music, some of which conjure memories of A Clockwork Orange. There's also one of those pools of water with the fish that "massage" your feet. The fish eat the stuff off of your bare feet. It's stimulating, creepy, and relaxing all at the same time.

View from the balcony

Make your way outside to the courtyards and you'll find two seating areas with grand views of the mountains. A perfect place for a nightcap. Or morning cap.

View of the hotel and outskirts of town from the tower room's balcony

The rooms are all different, tastefully and unconventionally decorated. We stayed in two rooms during our stay, one of which was the "tower" room, which is a three story room in a tower that was built in the 1500s. A very interesting room for sure (although these old bones had a hard time getting down the two flights of stairs in the middle of the night to get to the head).

Our little plaza was transformed early in the day

The amazing processions of Holy Week were really closing in on us by our third day in Jerez. The quiet little plaza across from the hotel was transformed by a lively crowd of people and several processions the entire day. It's a wonderful sight, but trying to find a place for a drink or meal became next to impossible.

So I did some quick searching on my phone and found a restaurant a bit out-of-the-way. After taking in the processions for a few hours, off we went, against the massive flow of people to get dinner.

Figurines for Holy Week, which was in full swing during our trip

If Restaurante Albores was our favorite restaurant in Jerez, then the race ended in a photo finish with La Cruz Blanca a very close second. Who am I kidding. They're both equally exceptional and I'd never get tired of sitting and eating at either.

La Cruz Blanca, which is about 3 doors down from Albores, also serves traditional Spanish food and dishes with a modern twists. It's a stunning restaurant (as is Albores). We mostly stuck to classics for this meal, and it's the meal where we first enjoyed seafood with black rice.

But first, as usual, croquettes.

Again I don't recall if these were fish-based, had leeks, who knows. These places do have a way with croquettes no matter what the ingredients. Creamy and dreamy. We were addicted.

Seafood salad was another salad was another dish that I ordered multiple times. So fresh, light, bright, and filled with all sorts of textures and flavors. Top notch stuff here.

One of the specials that afternoon included a dish of pork belly and artichokes. I believe it could have been with a foie gras cream. You're kidding, right? We obviously had to order this dish, and were very pleased that we did. Blasted with black pepper and mint. Jeez that was good.

And then the seafood in black rice. When we ordered it the server warned that it would take 20 minutes to prepare. So you mean we have to sit here at our outdoor table with the blue skies and sun of Jerez over us and sip wine and watch the world go by for 20 minutes? I think we're up to the task.

This was certainly one of the top ten dishes of the trip, and probably will end up in the top ten dishes that I'll end up eating all year. I just finished lunch yet as I'm typing this and my stomach started growling just thinking of it. And my heart hurts because I would like very much to be in Jerez. Jerez, I think, was our favorite stop on this trip (which included the beautiful Sevilla and the magical town of Rhonda).

After lunch we found a seat at another restaurant on nearby Plaza Plateros where we enjoyed a few glasses of vermouth, as we did pretty much every afternoon. Just sitting around, watching the people stroll by, under the sun, is a pastime that we enjoyed thoroughly. The locals are colorful. Everyone seems to be in a wonderful mood. And you have a chance to see vendors on foot, who sell cones filled with tiny dried shrimp or meat. Yes, tiny dried shrimp, served in a cone, on the street. How awesome is that.

Calgon, take me away.

La Cruz Blanca : Calle Consistorio, 16, 11403 Jerez de la Frontera, Cádiz, Spain

Holy Week Procession

Jerez is the home of sherry and the home of some of the most laid back and friendly people I've encountered in Spain. It's also the home of some wonderful food.

Albores Bar and Restaurante is likely one of the best restaurants in Jerez. It seems to be a mix of classic and nuevo Spanish cooking. We enjoyed our dinner here so much that we returned for lunch later in the week. We returned specifically for the outrageously good clams in marinara. They didn't disappoint the second time, either.

Here's a rundown...

Bodegas Gonzalez Bypass

The fact of the matter is that sometimes the food isn't the only important thing.

Case in point: La Concha I (not II) in Jerez, Spain. (Please note, I'm not sure this is the name of the place. I know where it is, and I could bring you there if we were both in the neighborhood, but figuring out the name has been a challenge)

We had left Sevilla that morning, picked up our rental car, drove the quick hour to Jerez, had a hard time finding our hotel because roads were closed due to Holy Week (more on Holy Week later), found our hotel, dragged our bags up two flights of stairs, brushed our teeth (as you should), found the nearest plaza for a cold Cruzcampo (which this article claims is the "worst beer in the world"--note to writers: if you're from the US and you find yourself in southern Spain, you'll enjoy it, unless you're an ungrateful heathen), and made our way over to Gonzalez Byass, the sherry producer, for an (interesting) hour tour. After the tour, we were dead hungry, and hadn't done any research on Jerez. I even had no idea how large or small the town is (it's quite small), which is odd for me, since I typically, but not this time, study maps incessantly before visiting a strange place.

One of those sherry guys at Gonzalez Bypass. Pride. Tradition.

As we tend to do when we travel to Europe, we booked the hotel for the day before we arrived in Spain. It seems like a waste of money to many, I'm sure, but we've spent too many first days of our trips walking around like zombies until a 2 or 3pm check-in, lugging around camera bags and other stuff that we want don't want to leave at the hotel, that we really think it's worth it to get to the hotel at 9am, sleep for 3 hours, and wake up, energized, and go out trying to find a place that is actually open for lunch at 12pm. Restaurants typically aren't--open at 12pm--and if they are, we're the first customers. Bleary-eyed Americans. At the very least, somewhat well-rested Americans who had a chance to brush their teeth. Well worth it, again. Please, people, brush your teeth more often.

But I'm not here to tell you about my breath or complain about yours. I'm here to tell you that the first thing we did in Sevilla, after napping, brushing our teeth (as far as you know), and having an uneventful meal, was meet a neighbor-friend, who has a semester abroad Sevilla. Kids these days, with their privilege.

This young friend gave us some information about Sevilla and the culture that may or may not have been news to people more than twice her age. But the one thing she told us, which had us on the edge of our uncomfortable little Spanish outdoor table seats, was that Mercado del Barranco, one of the more famous markets in Sevilla, has an outdoor seating area with couches and comfy seats down by the river, and you can get food from the market, and a bottle of wine, and sit there down by the river, and well she had me at "couches."

Plaza de Toros, Sevilla

At 165 years old, Casa Morales isn't anywhere near the oldest tapas place in Sevilla (that honor goes to El Rinconcillo, est. 1670), but it could be the second oldest. Indeed you will feel swept back in time when you walk into this corner bar, whose back room (a separate entrance) was once used to store sherry in enormous vats. The vats remain. The sherry has been drained.

Just steps from the Cathedral and a few blocks from Plaza de Toros, you'd think a place like this would be packed with tourists. On the day we were there, it seemed to be more filled with regulars and locals.

We were there only for a snack and to soak in the environment, and had a few glasses of wine and tapas.

El Pinton caught our eye every time we walked by. I guess we liked the clean lines and the modern look.

One night as we roamed around Sevilla without a plan for dinner, we ended up walking by it for about the 10th time in 3 days. The menu read well, and we figured what-the-heck?

We were seated in a small back room which is very much like a hallway leading to the toilets. I would recommend not sitting back there, but rather get a table in the large, open, airy, absolutely lovely large dining room that you have to walk through in order to get to the hallway.

I got the sense that El Pinton appeals to young, cosmopolitan types. Large groups of young selfie-taking women filled the dining room, seated next to people who looked more like art collectors than wine makers. And I can see why. The menu isn't typically Andalusian. There are quite a few notes of Asian flavors here, for example. It was a nice change of pace.

I landed on what I assumed would be a safe cocktail. IIRC, it was a sour of some sort. Maybe tequila. Maybe gin. Can't recall. But the cocktail was executed well, if not a bit on the sweet side. Kids like their sweet stuff.

Let's get on to the food. We didn't order much, but we enjoyed what we had.

Shit got real once we stumbled up La Azotea in Sevilla. While we we enjoyed the croquettes and cured tuna and anchovies and Andalusian cuisine, getting a chance to eat a place serving new Spanish cooking was a real treat. We liked La Azotea so much that we returned for a second meal on the tail-end of the trip. 

La Azotea is a beautiful, casual place, focusing on local, seasonal ingredients. The menu is concise, and everything reads incredibly well. It was very hard indeed to come up with just a few dishes. But we managed.

This dish was rice paper triangles stuffed with cheese, prawns, and leeks. Right? When it hit the table we immediately knew we were in the hands of a kitchen that understands cooking, plating, and pleasing.

It was our second night in Sevilla and we still hadn't done much research on restaurants. After enjoying a few cocktails at the excellent The Secondroom (it took me about one day to start trying to track down a proper cocktail bar), we spied a welcoming little place called Bar Pelayo right down the block. At this point we were starving and quite frankly would have eaten anywhere.

The menu is typically Andalusian, with the typical tapas, fried fish, croquettes, etc.

The oxtail croquettes were pretty fantastic.